Being a Wendy Whiner May Cost You Big Time
Posted by Amanda Liimatainen in Recruitalicious, tags: interviews, jobs, Wendy Whiner
Looking for a new job? Landing interviews but not offers? Apparently, your resume has caught many peoples’ attention, so why aren’t you closing the deal and getting that offer you deserve?
Could be…….Negativity. When you talk yourself up by putting others down, it damages the perception others have of you.
Here’s a story about yours truly.
I had a job that I didn’t like anymore for a variety of reasons. One of the largest, was my direct manager. I was looking for a new job. I hadn’t interviewed in a couple of years. Let me rephrase that, I hadn’t been the one to sit in the candidate seat for a few years. I landed an interview at a good organization and was excited. I scheduled it for the end of the day so I didn’t have to skip out on work and planned to bring a suit along in the car and change on the way there. Oh, I had it all planned, right down to accepting the job offer they were surely going to extend.
The morning of the interview, my work cell phone rang. It was my father. He called to tell me that my older brother had died. Pause for a moment and let’s talk about what this post is NOT about. It is not about my loss; who, what, when, where or how. It’s about getting through an interview and remaining positive.
I had to make a decision about my interview. I had eight hours to get myself together and do the interview, or could call and try to reschedule. I wanted the job badly and my grieving brain was not well functioning. I opted to do the interview. My thought process went as follows: if I call and tell them I need to reschedule I need to give a reason. How do I tell them without losing my marbles on the phone or revealing my family drama. So, I opted to do the interview.
BIG MISTAKE.
I pulled it together, dressed up in my suit, and went to the interview. Because I was so unfocused, I spent most of my interview talking about how ineffective my current boss was. I thought I was being professional. I wasn’t in the state of mind to have a sensible conversation about belly button lint, let alone how I would be a fantastic addition to their team. As I walked out the door, I thought about spilling it and telling them that I wasn’t at my best because of the situation with my loss. But even in that state of mind, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I knew when I walked to my car that I wasn’t going to get that job. Acceptance is part of the grieving process.
Everything I said about my boss was true. Very true. But it made me look bad. The interview was about me, not him. I made it about him.
How would this have gone if I had opted to reschedule? I likely would’ve landed that job. As a recruiter, I’ve had candidates reschedule an interview for a variety of reasons. Had I called to say there was a death in my family and I needed to reschedule, it would’ve worked out just fine. And they would’ve understood my situation. They’re human, too.
How to address the bad manager in an interview: don’t avoid the questions – answer directly and honestly. Here are some options I should have elected to use that day:
- I’m ready for a change and it’s not available in my current organization.
- My manager doesn’t have the opportunity to give me more challenging projects.
- We don’t have the same goals in mind.
- I’d like an opportunity to utilize my entire skill set and learn more in the process.
I was a Wendy Whiner during my interview. And it cost me a job that I wanted. If you’re not familiar with Wendy, I recommend renting some Saturday Night Live seasons around 1982 – 1984.
